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Through The Waters

I'm a psychologist helping 1,500+ parents guide their students through their university years. I share tips, tools, and conversations that you can share with your kid. Why? Because they're in a uniquely stressful, transitional time in their lives (and so are you). Stress or anxiety should not be a main character in any student's story. Together let's help your kid move forward with the next steps in their education, friendships, and future. Subscribe now to join us.

Featured Post

When your student is doing too much (+ some exciting news)

Hi Reader, Two things for you today. 1. A conversation worth sharing with your student This week I sat down with Alysa, our summer college intern, for a candid conversation about something almost every student struggles with: taking on too much. We cover: How to recognize the signs that you’re heading toward burnout The group project problem (and how to actually share the load) How to ask for help without feeling guilty Communicating with roommates Simple, practical self-care that doesn’t...

Hi Reader,This time of year can be really hard for students. Academic pressure builds. Transitions get complicated. Big questions start surfacing about majors, careers, living situations, and whether they're even on the right path. And sometimes, all of it hits at once. As a parent, it can be hard to know what to do from a distance. You want to help, but you don't want to add to the pressure.So here's what I've learned from thousands of hours working with students: The most powerful thing you...

Hi Reader, I want to share something a little different today... an opportunity your student might genuinely love. As you know, I've been building Through The Waters over the past few years. We have an online anxiety course as well as a community designed to help university students navigate stress and anxiety together.What started as a small peer support space has been growing, expanding out to university partnerships, and I now need students to help me grow it further. So I've opened up an...

Hi Reader, I want to share something a student wrote because I think it captures what our peer support community is really about better than I ever could: "Companionship: This was the last key… the final missing piece… I tried calling family & friends but everyone's schedule is different so they won't always be there when I need them. There's something about when someone else is there, they see you… I was literally crying at my desk in the library when I finished. I cried because it felt like...

Hi Reader, That's a fair question, and I want to answer it truthfully. Some students join our community and dive in right away. They're posting, joining study sessions, making friends within the first week. Some join, lurk for a while, and quietly absorb the community until they feel ready. And some students won't be interested, and that's okay too. Here's what I've heard from a student about what actually happens in those study buddy sessions: "I was anxious to get started, but having a...

Hi Reader, You've probably had this experience. You ask how things are going. They say "fine" or "pretty good" or "busy." And you sense - the way parents do - that it's not the whole story. Your gut tells you something is off. But you're not sure whether to push. You don't want to add to their stress. You don't want to seem like you're hovering. So you say something encouraging, and the moment passes. Here's what I want you to know: that instinct to hold back is actually good parenting....

Hi Reader, On Monday I mentioned that I built a community for university students. Today I want to show you what it actually looks like because it's not what most people expect. It's not a support group where everyone sits in a circle and talks about their problems. It's more like… a supportive, community-wide group chat with people who actually understand. It's a place where someone can post at 11pm saying "I have an exam in 8 hours and I can't stop spiraling" and three people can respond...

Hi Reader, There's something your student might not be saying out loud right now. It's probably not because they don't trust you.It might be because they don't want to worry you. Or because they don't have the words. Or because they've said it before and felt like no one really got it. After 20 years of working with university students, I've heard the same thing again and again in therapy sessions, in YouTube comments, in DMs: "I feel so alone. Even when I'm surrounded by people." That word -...

Hi Reader,Have you ever noticed that your student focuses better when they silently co-work around other people, rather than going it alone? There's actually a name for that, and there's an emerging body of research behind it. It's called body doubling: the simple act of working alongside another person, even silently.Something about having another human presence nearby activates focus and follow-through. It's especially powerful for students who struggle with procrastination, anxiety,...

Hi Reader,I've been analyzing 35 interviews I've conducted with university senior leaders over the past few months.These are the Deans and Directors on the front lines of student life.I've been asking them what they're noticing about student mental health.One of the strongest themes is captured by this quote from an interview: "They don't know how to be uncomfortable. Just because something is uncomfortable, doesn't mean it's unmanageable." There is a developmental skills gap that...